An Unconventional Apology
by missmarabellkitty
Summary: LBDverse. Part Six of the Unconventional Series. Lizzie sits down to apologize to Darcy and gets more in reply than she bargained for. "She was interrupted by a knock on the door and the increasingly familiar, 'Excuse me, Lizzie.' But Darcy faltered then, and Lizzie's hands flew to remove the hat and cover the bowtie. 'It's not what it looks like'"


**A/N**: The Unconventional Series was planned prior to the release of episode 83. It has yet to be completely canonballed. Part One of the series, "Unconventional," is referenced in this one-shot. Reading parts one through five is not necessary for the enjoyment of this fic. For those who have read part five, An Unconventional Conversation, note that the video referenced is the Thursday video of that same week.

**Summary**: Lizzie sits down to apologize to Darcy and gets a lot more in reply than she bargained for. "She was interrupted by a knock on the door and the increasingly familiar, 'Excuse me, Lizzie.' But Darcy faltered then, and Lizzie's hands flew to remove the hat and cover the bowtie. 'It's not what it looks like!'"

* * *

An Unconventional Apology

Lizzie stared at her camera, willing herself to speak. She took another shaky breath and nodded.

"Everyone makes mistakes. And sometimes those mistakes destroy lives. But then someone, a better person than you, comes along and forgives you for those mistakes, even when you have never actually apologized. Or even shown all that much remorse beyond feeling embarrassed. This has been a long time coming, and I should have done it months ago. But here it is now. My name is Lizzie Bennet, and, William Darcy, I am so sorry for the awful things I've said about you and done to you."

Lizzie chewed on her lip as she paused to try to put some sense to the thoughts that were running around in her brain.

"I wish I knew what else to say. I mean, how do I even begin to correct the unfounded insults I hurled against you for months without you even knowing about it? That was so… cowardly of me. And… I just really wish I had you here to respond. But that would sort of defeat the purpose of the public-apology-slash-practicing-this-before-actually-coming-to-you-with-it thing I've got going."

Lizzie frowned. She shouldn't. But she also couldn't just stare at a camera for an hour. Again. She pulled out the hat and bowtie from her bag and put them on.

"Lizzie," she said in her Darcy-voice, but then stopped and switched to her normal voice, "No. I can't do this. I'm not trying to be mocking; I do this as Jane – so, it's weird how wrong this – "

She was interrupted by a knock on the door and the increasingly familiar, "Excuse me, Lizzie." But Darcy faltered then, and Lizzie's hands flew to remove the hat and cover the bowtie.

"It's not what it looks like! Well… it kinda is if it looks like I was doing costume theatre as you…"

"I… should come back later," he started to back out.

"No! Please. Come sit," she said as she unclipped the bowtie and gestured to the seat next to her.

He stiffly did as he was told. "So… what unwittingly humorous thing have I done or said this time?" he asked, not looking at her at all, which was possibly a first.

"No. That's not what this is. God, this is not how I pictured doing this." She looked at Darcy, willing him to look at her, but he apparently was not telepathic. "I wasn't reenacting anything. I was… I was practicing… something. And I was… pretending to be you… to guess what your reaction would be." He didn't turn his head, but she saw his eyes flicker over to the corner of his eyes. Progress. "But since you're here now… I can just say it to you directly. And you can react the way you're going to react. If… you want."

It took forever, but Darcy drew in a full breath and turned to look at her squarely in the eye. She smiled with all the relief she felt. His expression didn't change.

"Darcy," she paused to gather her strength but felt her breath catch in her throat. She just stared at him, unable to speak. Finally she looked away and felt a flush creeping up from her collarbones to her ears. _Stupid red hair_. "I-I," she sputtered, "I was planning on having all the kinks worked out before I tried to talk to you."

"Would it be helpful if I wore the hat?" he asked wryly.

She tried not to look too hopeful. He gave her that look that she'd come to associate with an eye-roll and held out his hand. "I'll forgo the bowtie, if it's all the same to you."

"Thank you, Darcy."

"You're welcome," he said reflexively as he placed the hat on his head then looked at her with that expectant stare that was classically Darcy.

"Darcy," she started again with more force. "Everything I thought I knew about you before October, everything was a lie, and instead of trying to get to know you past that first impression, I just judged everything you did that I didn't fully understand. And not only did I do that, I posted it on the internet for anyone to see and… I misrepresented you and everything that makes you… you. And I was so wrong in my impression and in how I treated you. And I've never actually said that I'm sorry. But I am. I am so sorry. You've been so kind to me even after you knew how I was ridiculing you, and… I never could have expected that. It means more to me than I can say. Because it's not just me, you've done so much for my sisters. And… God, I could never repay you for what you did for Lydia. And… I guess that's it. I'm sorry and thank you."

He said nothing, just removed the hat and ran his hand over his hair to smooth it. They stared at each other for a long time.

"Apology accepted," he said finally. "And allow me to offer my own."

"You don't – "

"Yes, I do. I made you feel hated. And I know that's not a pleasant feeling, and… that I caused that… pain. I hate myself for it."

Instinctively, she reached forward and grabbed one of his hands, which was slowing turning the hat over and over. "Don't. Please."

He looked down at their hands then back to her eyes. She snatches her hand back, flushing again. She wonders if it's unhealthy how hard her heart is hammering and looks away. She can't look at him looking at her while she asks, "Darcy… do you… do you still feel the same… about me… that you did in October?"

"No." Lizzie didn't know if she wanted to cry or vomit. "Truthfully, Lizzie – "

"You don't need to say anything else," she couldn't even muster the resolve not to cry as she spoke. He was still staring at her; she could feel his eyes.

"Yes, I think I do. I was mistaken about the way I felt in October. I had constructed an imaginary woman and confused her for you. I was not in love with you then; how could I be? I didn't know you." Lizzie was fairly certain she'd forgotten how to breathe. "Now, that I have… come to know you, I realize how foolish I was then. Anything I could imagine… does not compare to the extraordinary woman you are. Lizzie, you must know… how much I love and _admire_… you."

Lizzie closed her eyes in relief, and the tears that had been threatening to fall finally did. She looked at him again. And she just stared; she couldn't help it. She felt like she was seeing him for the first time.

He shifted uncomfortably and turned away. Lizzie snapped out of her reverie and wondered just how long she had not spoken. "I understand," he said, "Your feelings have not… Thank you for not rejecting me quite so harsh… I should go. Leave you alone."

He started to stand, but she lunged forward and forced his shoulders to stay down. "William."

His eyes were on hers again. Her hand left his shoulder and travelled to hesitantly touch his cheek. She leaned forward. He stared at her the entire time, as though he couldn't believe what was happening. She closed her eyes and brushed her lips against his. She pulled away and flicked her eyes to meet his again. They stared at each other for a long second.

Before Lizzie even had a chance to collect herself, William was kissing her again. One hand wove through her hair to support the back of her head. The other arm was wrapped around her waist, pulling her flush against him. She gripped the back of his neck and the collar of his shirt. That she ever thought William Darcy was not a passionate man was ludicrous.

"Hey, Lizzie – " the door opened, and the two simultaneously pulled away and looked at Gigi who was frozen in the doorway. "You know what? Nevermind, not all that important. Carry on." She slammed the door shut and almost immediately they could hear her screaming on the other side, "Eeeeeeeeeeeeee! Yes, yes, _yes_!"

Lizzie leaned her forehead against William's shoulder and laughed. He kept his arms around her, and she could feel his lips on the top of her head.

"Lizzie?" he said, suddenly straightening.

"Yes?" she, for one, was not moving.

"Are you, uh, still recording?"

She nearly slammed her head upwards into his chin as she scrambled to get out of his arms and to her camera.


End file.
